LIVING SEXY IS... Finding Your Resolve

I’ll go ahead and start by admitting this is uncharted waters for me. When I decided to start the series, Living Sexy Is, I didn’t imagine I’d one day interview men. Do men ever feel sexy? OF COURSE THEY DO, DUH! Maybe they use different terminology but we all certainly share the concept of feeling great. It only seems fair, then, that I open up this conversation to all.

Enter: Tomas Rodriguez, the easiest person to talk to you’ll ever meet. 

boudoir.photography.newyork.nyc.tuttidelmonte

So, despite being much more accustomed to photographing women, my shoot with Tomas was super easy-going and fun. Equal-parts-business-and-fun, I knew I wanted to incorporate an element that made him feel comfortable yet stud-like. Hello basketball in a suit!

boudoir.photography.newyork.nyc.tuttidelmonte
boudoir.photography.newyork.nyc.tuttidelmonte

It’s all fun and games until we sat down after our shoot and just talked (cue "The Shining”  track and splash the page with red paint that reads: GUYS’ WORST NIGHTMARE). Come on! It wasn’t that bad! It was actually SO good that I had too much content (55-minute interview) for this piece and had to redo it to fit your attention span.

SO. Here we are and I don’t even know where to begin!

It was truly refreshing getting a guys’ perspective on this subject. I feel like I don’t know about enough men who take time to simply ask themselves if they feel great. Sure, they may very well feel great, but do they stop and wonder where the feeling came from? Or how they can bottle it up? At the risk of sounding like a total girl, feelings matter, dammit! And it was nice to hear that Tomas agrees.

His idea of feeling sexy / feeling great admittedly most often starts with a surface-level assessment. A look good = feel good type of thing. But once the feeling is there, however fleeting, Tomas feels unstoppable. And I’m sure many men and women relate. This idea of adorning yourself in a way that makes you happy has the power to lift your entire self-esteem, thus allowing you to have this magical confidence we’ve been discussing in recent posts. Confidence stemming from surface-level elements, however, are subject to change at a moment’s notice. 

boudoir.photography.newyork.nyc.tuttidelmonte

//

I struggle with the idea of confidence, because I think sometimes it’s temporary, or sometimes it’s fleeting.

//

boudoir.photography.newyork.nyc.tuttidelmonte
boudoir.photography.newyork.nyc.tuttidelmonte
boudoir.photography.newyork.nyc.tuttidelmonte

The ideal counterpart to the waves of life would be to have a steady, rock-solid base from which this confidence stems from.

//

There is this little resolve, a foundation within you, that you can always go back to.

//

And, in Tomas’ opinion, finding your personal resolve, is what it’s all about. That’s freaking sexy, in MY opinion.

During our interview, we touched on many points. Confidence. Happiness. Self-Discovery. Practice. Uncertainty. Self-Awareness. Helping Others. 

My mind was blown as soon as Tomas mentioned an old gem passed down from his mother, "If you can’t figure out a way to help yourself, just go find someone else and help them." SOMEONE ELSE? What?! You mean it’s not all about me when things aren’t going MY way? Preposterous! 

boudoir.photography.newyork.nyc.tuttidelmonte

How can it be that I had never thought of that? That I’m in my head so much that I’ve failed to consider those around me as a possible way to make any situation better? The answer is written within the very question, “I’m in my head” (add: too much). It’s a mind-blowing concept, but one that I will definitely start practicing. Don’t you think it’s beautiful? That we may each be able to “figure our shit out” by letting go of it and instead being self-less? 

//

Maybe in moments of turmoil it’d great to open up your eyes and try to find - with practice - opportunities to help others. 

//

boudoir.photography.newyork.nyc.tuttidelmonte
boudoir.photography.newyork.nyc.tuttidelmonte

There’s so much information out there on how to be the best at this or that, how to know your strengths and weaknesses, how to maximize your time, how to get to know yourself so you may excel at being YOU, but what if all this is somehow getting in the way of the ultimate goal? What Tomas was explaining as his idea of Living Sexy is this: Being happy can bring confidence, and getting to know yourself can bring said happiness and confidence. But life doesn’t work in this black and white, easy mathematical way. It has ups and downs and twists and turns, so the confidence, happiness and inner wisdom you feel right now may very well disappear within an instant. And being shaken up but riding the wave is what Living Sexy is all about: being OK with the mystery of life will come as long as your foundation is solid, and not being too self-involved in your own journey that you neglect to help others in theirs. 

Do I even need to wrap this up? My head will be floating and skipping for a while after this interview. I can’t wait for more interviews and thoughts on Living Sexy. They never cease to enchant me.

Many blessings to all. Make sure to watch the awesomely wonderful video below. Thanks for dancing and playing, Tomas!

And to his friends: Be gentle! I made him do it!