Toss The List - Be You & The Right One Will Love You

My original intention was to write an article about the things men look for in women in order to relate that to how empowering yourself through a boudoir shoot could showcase your confidence / femininity / [insert another sultry characteristic men love] / etc. 

However, in researching articles and information for this post, I found numerous lists that seem to know the defining qualities most men want in women, and vice versa. These ranged from "emotional maturity and physical appearance to desire for children and trustworthiness." 

If they had lists, "affection" would've probably been in the "TONS" column of my brother's and in the "MODERATE" of my sister-in-law's, yet it clearly hasn't gotten in their way as they've been happily married for three years and are expecting their first child!!!!!! Titi Tutti is super pumped, can you tell!?  (Was I not supposed to announce that? Is anyone even reading this?!) Picture taken during our family vacation in Sonoma 2014 :)

If they had lists, "affection" would've probably been in the "TONS" column of my brother's and in the "MODERATE" of my sister-in-law's, yet it clearly hasn't gotten in their way as they've been happily married for three years and are expecting their first child!!!!!! Titi Tutti is super pumped, can you tell!?  (Was I not supposed to announce that? Is anyone even reading this?!) Picture taken during our family vacation in Sonoma 2014 :)

Let's be honest, OF COURSE we want someone who we can trust. OF COURSE we want someone we're physically attracted to. OF COURSE we yearn for someone who shares our same ambition in life. It's important to know what works for you and what doesn't, but let's hold off on lists for now.

Lists are a slippery road when it comes to discovering the "perfect formula" for what the opposite/ same sex desires. There will always be something we can work on, strive toward or change - same for your partner or future partner! Motivation that propels you toward greatness and love is wonderful! Motivation, however, that stems from a desire for acceptance should be dealt with entirely different. 

Instead, I think we should focus our energy on what's within us - our essence - since it's essentially all we have control over. There's no point in trying to mold yourself into someone who fits into someone else's perfect mold. 

So, don't worry about what Forbes or Whatever-blog tells you that men & women like, just strive for greatness within, and the right person will fit right in. 

What do you think? Is this an idealistic way of thinking or is there some truth to it? I don't have years and years of relationship experience with a partner, but I do have years and years of experience with myself as a woman who dates and constantly asks "datees" about their desires, challenges and insight in order to create a space for conversation. What I've ended up with is simple: when it's right, it'll be effortless - not without work - but still effortless. He won't see those 10 pounds you'd like to lose nor will he be intimated by your badass career status. 

So give yourself some grace and let go of this particular list if you have one. It's enough to have to write grocery lists, to-do lists, gift lists, reminder lists, etc. but to also have to make one for such an important thing? Nah, pass on that and take the smart route - just be yourself, and I promise bliss will follow.