LIVING SEXY IS... Evolving

When I first met Cyndie, she was the key speaker at a brunch event and I was immediately blown away by how much charisma, presence and confidence a woman could carry. With her huge hair and sassy, colorful style, Cyndie is the epitome of a #LadyBoss who doesn't ask for permission and instead of asking for forgiveness later, she just demands attention. 

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After the event, I went up to Cyndie to tell her I wanted us to hang out, because I was certain we'd be fast friends. A few lady dates later, turns out I was right. We'd talk about work and dreams and men and life and open up to each other as if we were lifetime buddies. She's the shit. And I'll tell you why.

boudoirbytutti.boudoir.photography.nyc.cyndiespiegel
boudoirbytutti.boudoir.photography.nyc.cyndiespiegel

She's open about herself. She shares her gifts. She encourages women to pursue greatness. She's unapologetic about not pleasing everyone. She's herself. 

I asked Cyndie if I could feature her on the blog because I love the fact that she's such a gorgeous human being who's honed in on how much love and beauty she has to give. And she indeed gives it! She's a stellar example of someone who's "living sexy" because she acknowledges the ebbs and flows of life and instead of being ruled by them, she says "I'm the boss."

It's that type of confidence that sets Cyndie apart. Her presence oozes confidence and ease. Of course it's not a steady feeling, Cyndie admits, and confidence / feeling beautiful has gone through its own journey through the years.

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It shifts. It really started to shift over the age of 30 for me. Sexiness equates to confidence. It's not necessarily what others see in you but it's what emanates from you.

My legs were better when I was 25, but at 38 I feel way sexier.

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boudoirbytutti.boudoir.photography.nyc.cyndiespiegel
boudoirbytutti.boudoir.photography.nyc.cyndiespiegel
boudoirbytutti.boudoir.photography.nyc.cyndiespiegel
boudoirbytutti.boudoir.photography.nyc.cyndiespiegel

On a smaller scale -- say, on a daily basis -- doesn't that hold true as well? Honestly, one minute I can feel like I'm rocking this whole life thing, and in the blink of an eye, it seems the world is crumbling all around me. It's maddening sometimes, but other times I realize these shifts all have a common denominator - my perspective. It's what's in charge of deciding how I feel or react to things, and I think it's also the leading cause of the grand scale beauty misconceptions among so many women. It's perspective that affirms a woman's low-level energy levels when her world seems to be on a downward spiral. It's the same perspective that provides the music for the woman to strut down the street when she's feeling powerfully beautiful. 

As with all other worldly situations, an even perspective is temporary, and when ours is lacking strength, it's important to have a community of people who are there to pick us up. 

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We all have those moments when we don't feel as grounded, we don't feel as strong within ourselves, and it's in those moments that we need women around us to be confident and stand up for us when we can't do it ourselves.

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boudoirbytutti.boudoir.photography.nyc.cyndiespiegel
boudoirbytutti.boudoir.photography.nyc.cyndiespiegel

I sometimes find myself wondering how the world would be if little things were to change. For instance, what would happen if all women would completely banish bashing and instead encourage sister love? What would the world look like if we all just got along? I know I said I was thinking of "little things" and you might think "everyone getting along" is no small feat, but I disagree. It's so much easier to be nice than it is to not. Cyndie and I spoke about the power of complimenting, man or woman, and how it not only has the power to turn the receiver's day around, but also your own! Spreading love and kindness is such a simple solution to so many issues, and I truly think it's as easy as it sounds. 

Starting with woman-to-woman. 

She's crazy. She's a cat lady. But she's not a "crazy cat lady." Cyndie Spiegel, everyone!

She's crazy. She's a cat lady. But she's not a "crazy cat lady." Cyndie Spiegel, everyone!

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Women need more love of other women, and support and encouragement from other women. I think sometimes women can be really judgmental of other women - we can use more of the support of each other to make each other feel attractive, confident, stable and sexy.

We have allowed the opposite sex to control what we think of as sexiness. The more women can help each other define what sexiness is, the more confident we all become. 

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boudoirbytutti.boudoir.photography.nyc.cyndiespiegel
boudoirbytutti.boudoir.photography.nyc.cyndiespiegel

Let this serve as a toast for all of us: May we love ourselves, support each other and continue building strong bonds of support and encouragement!

HAPPY MONTH OF LOVE, lovelies!

xoxo

Tutti

 

/ /  C R E D I T S  / / 

Featured: Cyndie Spiegel

Music: Slightly Stoopid - Collie Man

 

From My Aura To Yours | Happy New Year!

Sometimes a mirror just doesn't cut it for us to truly see ourselves. Despite the clear reflection staring back at us, we may or may not have a jaded view of ourselves due to society, insecurities, ignorance, reluctancy, etc. There's a gap, then, between what we see and what is

I experience this time and time again, when women look at their pictures and mention something that needs to be changed that I would've never noticed, or when a friend comes to me feeling a rainbow of negative emotions that so clearly have a simple solution in my eyes. The reality is that there are so many external factors that get in the way of us really seeing ourselves but sometimes a third-party is able to shorten the gap between the differing perceptions. 

Anything that brings light to why we think the way we do or why we act the way we do is always fun and, as humans, we long to know the why of things. So in the spirit of finding out "stuff," I booked a slot to get my aura photo taken. Radiant Human is led by Christina Lonsdale and has been growing immensely the past few years because of the gorgeous portraits and colors the picture produces but also, in my opinion, because people love knowing more about themselves. 

The experience was very cool and I highly recommend it to everyone! I don't want to give away too many details of the actual process in case you get to participate with Radiant Human, but all in all, I'm so pleased with my aura photo! 

Aura photo by Christina Lonsdale of Radiant Human

Aura photo by Christina Lonsdale of Radiant Human

After your polaroid-size photo is ready, Christina goes through what all the colors mean and how they may manifest in you and your life. Like I said, I'm so interested in knowing the why of things, especially things like behavioral patterns, so this was as reaffirming as the most on-point zodiac horoscope could ever be. 

The gist of these colors is that some have to do with your internal, some with how you present yourself to the world, others have to do with your conscious, and mixed together, they show a colorful painting that make up who you are. The colors and high-quality portrait alone are enough to make this popular, add to that an element of self-awareness and I'm not surprised Radiant Human is doing so well.

As 2016 approaches, I'm writing this post in the hopes of inspiring you to assess who you are and who you show up to the world as. Are they aligned? Would you like to be less of something and more of something else? What are you waiting for? There's so much energy inside us that's meant to be intentionally shared with the world because, guess what, it already is!

Today and everyday we get opportunities to observe, notice and move. It's up to you what direction you want to move in and it's up to you when you start.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, my friends! Sending you all lots of love and positive energy for 2016!

In love + color + light,

Tutti

 

 / / C R E D I T S / / 

Radiant Human

adiant Human Instagram @radianthuman

LIVING SEXY IS... Feeling Free

There comes a time in your life when you feel totally empowered, challenged and at ease with yourself. This was the feeling I got when I met Domenic Savino, this week’s Living Sexy feature.

I met Domenic about a year and a half ago when I went through yoga teacher training. He gives off SO MUCH ENERGY and demands the same from you. It’s likely you’ll hear one or two of his idioms during class, such as “Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do!” It’s also likely they’ll stick with you for the rest of your life.

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Domenic embodies this idea of Living Sexy because of the beautiful blend of caring and non-attachment in which he carries himself. During our interview (audio file above), we talked about yoga, kindness, loving yourself and feeling great, among many other topics. 

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boudoir.photography.tuttidelmonte.newyork

There was one phrase, though, that immediately stopped me in my tracks,

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What makes you beautiful are the things that make you imperfect. That’s what makes you shine

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boudoir.photography.nyc.tuttidelmonte
boudoir.photography.nyc.tuttidelmonte

I felt as if I was suddenly levitating, free from worldly and superficial attachments. YES! Imperfect is beautiful! You know why? Because there is NO SUCH THING AS PERFECT. Despite what media and society wants us to think, there is absolutely no one in this world who is perfect. And the sooner we accept that, the sooner we get to feel beautiful. 

Let go of all non-physical insecurities as well. No more, "I'm not good enough, " "I'm not smart enough," "I'm not disciplined enough." Hush the negative talk, there is enough of that going around in the world for you to add to the noise when it comes to YOU. Replace all the "imperfect" chatter with positive and love-filled talk. 

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Even though I don't own or read the Bible, I found a tremendously powerful passage that reads,

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A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. - Luke 6:45

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I bring this up because it's SO IMPORTANT to internalize positivity in order for it to translate into our external lives. Feeling imperfect is a slippery slope that breeds negative emotions in our hearts. The sooner we recognize how many daily opportunities we have to switch the chatter in our minds from negative to positive, the sooner our hearts will be able to catch up, heal and give us love instead of other nasty feelings such as jealousy, inadequacy, envy, bitterness, antipathy, resentment, animosity, spite, hatred, etc. 

boudoir.photography.tuttidelmonte.newyork
boudoir.photography.tuttidelmonte.newyork

I'm so happy Domenic brought this up because I think it's really easy to get caught up in perfection when the truth is we already have everything we need to feel great / beautiful / sexy = LIFE. WE HAVE LIFE. 

A huge thank you to Domenic for shedding light and sharing wisdom on this platform and during yoga class! You are so loved and so admired.

Everyone's assignment for today and the rest of the year (2015 is almost over, what!?) is to:

SWITCH THE CHATTER

Every time you catch yourself belittling yourself or propagating negative thoughts about yourself, just switch it around. Simple as that. Even if you don't 100% believe it, I promise it WILL actually switch your heart. It may not be a flip of a switch, but with time, it will happen. I promise. 

boudoir.photography.tuttidelmonte.newyork
boudoir.photography.tuttidelmonte.newyork
boudoir.photography.tuttidelmonte.newyork

Thank you so much for reading this week's feature. I look forward to sharing a few more FUN posts before the end of the year so stay connected!

Here's the video from my shoot with Domenic.

Lots of love,

Tutti